Blog 7

While reading "Should we stay together for the kids?" I found all the different stories very interesting and it put a different perspective on how I personally feel about this topic. My parents got divorced when I was about 12. Now as an adult my mother admitted, "If I could go back and find anyway to save that marriage, I do it." Just like what Denyse's mother stated in the article. I suppose I never realized the lasting affects it had on me when choosing men and having relationships until I read this article especially relating to Joanne's story. The fear of "abandonment" is something I feel most women have dealing with a divorce or having been through their parents divorce. According to Wallerstein, the belief common in children of divorce, that marriage is either a fairy tale or nothing. " I don't believe in the fairy tale. I hope it exists, but I really don't believe it does," is something that stood out to me because I have said that myself and to this day still believe it. Wallerstein makes it clear that divorce screws kids up. Experts feel he overstates the case. That divorce may screw them up for a long time and put them at risk for everything from drug abuse to a loveless, solitary old age is more disturbing and more debatable. Although growing up in a divorced family elevates the risk of all certain problems, it by no means dooms children to having a terrible life. I liked how this article referred to America's children of divorce as an unfinished business is a way of life, for adults is a conclusion, but for children it's the beginning of uncertainty. It's sad but true, a million new divorce cases occur every year and it will impact every child differently. Blankenhorn states, "If the question is, if unhappily married parents stay together for the sake of their kids, will that decision benefit their children?, the answer is yes." I do not agree with that. Being in a unhealthy relationship is far more destructive for your child then living happily apart. Especially if the are exposed to behavior that can impact the way the treat people and teaching them what is right from wrong. How can a child thrive and be happy when clearly the parents are unhappy? Like Coontz states, "things only get worse and fester, and eventually, five years down the road , they end up getting divorced anyway, after years of contempt for each other and outside affairs." Why put you children through that dysfunction and unnecessary drama? Children of divorce suffer depression, learning difficulties and other psychological problems more frequently than those of intact families. That makes me wonder, don't children who live in dysfunctional unhappy intact families suffer from those same issues?

Blog 6

While reading the article "Inside The Teen Brain," it was interesting to learn more about why teens make poor, impulsive decisions and have drastic mood swings. When I was a teenager, I did a lot stupid things and made poor choices. After reading this article and learning how a teenage brain functions and everything thing that affects it, my irresponsible behavior seems to make more sense. Also, having a better understanding of the teen brain, prepares me for when my kids reach that age. Until the past decade, neuroscientists believed the brain was fully developed by the time a child reached puberty. It turns out that it's not fully developed in most people until their early 20's. Different regions of the brain are developing on different timetables, the last part of the brain to mature is in charge or making sound judgement and calming unruly emotions. According to researchers, new experiences for teens, especially those with a "frisson" of danger or the thrill of the new, tap into a teenager's so-called reward system. This is a set of neurons that link emotional centers to many other parts of the brain and that can produce feelings of intense pleasure. This is the same set of neurons that are affected by certain illicit drugs that release dopamine, one of the brains chemicals or neurotransmitters that are responsible for arousal and motivation. At the same time, other research has shown that levels of another neurotransmitter, serotonin, appear to decline temporarily in most adolescents, making them more likely to act impulsively. This explains a lot of why I was so irresponsible as a teen. Now as an adult, I look back and can't believe some of the reckless and dangerous things I did. In other words, I did things that made me "feel good," regardless of the consequence. Another fascinating thing was the "pruning," or "use or lose it" system for ensuring that the brain nourishes only the neurons and synapses that are useful. The excess of synapses means the young adolescent can't easily keep track of multiple thoughts, and it can't gain instant access to critical memories and emotions that allow adults to make judicious decisions. In relation to that information, a line that stood out to me was, "Good judgement is learned, but you can't learn if you don't have the necessary hardware." (Yurgelun-Todd.) As a mother of two young boys, I don't necessarily look forward to the teenage years, especially after everything I put my mother through. But one thing I need remember as parent is, Teens literally think differently than adults, so their baffling behavior may reflect cluelessness, not stubborness. (Roberta Hotinski)

Blog 5

While reading chapter 7 in the book, the section about Child maltreatment stood out to me most. Reading the first paragraph about the abuse to a 7 year old boy named Max made me sick to my stomach. How can anyone treat a child, let alone their flesh and blood that way? Unfortunately, child abuse and maltreatment happens everyday and seems to be increasing. I've always used or heard the terms child abuse and neglect, but never heard the term "Child Maltreatment" until reading this chapter. Child maltreatment comes in many forms: Physical Abuse, involving assault that leads to injuries including cuts, welts, bruises, and s broken bones. Sexual abuse, involving fondling, intercourse, or other sexual behaviors. Psychological abuse, involving ridicule, rejection, or humiliation. Neglect, in which children do not receive adequate food, clothing or medical care. The disturbing fact is that the frequency of child maltreatment is difficult to estimate because so many cases go unreported. According to the US Department of Health and Human Service (2008), approximately 1 million children annually suffer from maltreatment or neglect. About 60% are neglected, 15% are abused physically, 10% are abused sexually, and 10% are maltreated psychologically. Being a mother, these statistics are heart breaking to me. It's sad that the rate of child maltreatment is so high in the US especially since in many countries in Europe and Asia, have strong cultural prohibitions against physical punishment. In Sweden spanking is against the law. Therefore, countries that do not condone physical punishment tend to have lower rates of child maltreatment than the United States. (U.S. Department of State 2002) I found it interesting to learn that poverty is a social condition that seems to foster maltreatment. I feel like it's always been a stereotype that if you are poor you probably aren't that great of a parent or abuse your child but for different reasons than expected. When parents worry about whether they can buy groceries or pay rent, they are more likely to punish their children physically instead of making the extra effort to reason with them. Another particularly interesting thing I learned from reading this chapter was ego resilience. It denotes children's ability to respond adaptively and resourcefully to new situations and serves and as a protective factor. If I had unlimited funds and time, I would definitely put it towards Child Protective Services. I see too many stories on the news about CPS involved cases where the child ends up getting badly injured or dies. I feel like there should be more investigation and follow up with each case, and more consequences and treatment for the parents involved.

Blog 4

While reading "Medicating Young Minds," I was comparing Andrea's story to my 7 year old son. I received a call from his teacher recently regarding his decrease in academics. She stated he is distracted, doesn't complete his work, and appears to not understand the work they do in class. I know my son understands his work because he has no difficulty at home with his homework. All I could think was; he is just like his dad. ADD is the perfect description of his dad. He is so distracted all the time, full of energy but when it comes to multitasking or anything that has to with listening/concentrating that becomes difficult for him and frustrating for me. As my son get's older, he is taking on more traits of his father's personality and it is becoming a concern. Now I'm meeting with a educational team to figure out a "good plan" for my son. My fear is that I don't know what I would do if he were to be diagnosed with ADD, ADHD. Medication or no medication? According to a Mayo Clinic study, children between 5 and 19 have at least a 7.5% chance of being found to have ADHD, which amounts to nearly 5 million kids. Other children are receiving diagnoses and medication for obsessive-compulsive disorder, social-anxiety disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, pathological impulsiveness, sleeplessness, and phobias. I worried in past my son may have a little bit of OCD because even his kindergarten teachers would tell me that he was a "perfectionist." He would get extremely upset if he messed up his work and obsessively erase and rewrite it until it was perfect in his eyes. As he gets older, the perfectionism seems to decrease and the distraction and other typical "ADD" behavior seem to increase. As of right now, I don't think I could put my 7 year old on ADHD medication. A line that stood out to me regarding medicating kids is, "When then health of a child's mind is on the line, getting it wrong is something no parent wants." The risks of not treating a ADHD are frightening and therefore puts parents in a difficult situation. The child could result is dropping out of school, substance abuse and trouble with the law according to studies. So what is the right decision when it comes to your child? I was really surprised and saddened when reading about how 10% of all American kids may suffer from some mental illness and twice that many may have exhibited symptoms of depression. According to a study by professor Julie Zito of the University of Maryland School of Pharmacy, "use of antidepressants among children and teens increased threefold between 1987-1996, and continues to climb." That brings me to my question of- are these children being properly diagnosed? Is medication such as Ritalin and antidepressants an easy fix? I'm not opposed to medication by any means, only if it is needed for the appropriate disease in order to maintain quality of life. But personally I feel doctors sometimes use medication first before exploring other options as well as providing further testing in order to get an accurate diagnosis. With that in mind, I really liked the line summing up the conclusion in this story. "Perhaps the most powerful medicine a suffering child needs is the educated instincts of a well-informed parent-one who has taken the time to study up on all the pharmaceutical and non pharmaceutical options and pick the right ones."