Blog 8

While reading "Is There Love After Baby?" I thought this is something I would find useful since I have have a 10 month old and am currently in a relationship. I remember hearing the top two reasons that couple's divorce is a birth of a child and the death of a child. With that being said, the fact that parents must struggle to keep their their marriage alive once they become parents, came to no surprise. According to recent demographic studies, more than 40 percent of children born to two parents can expect to live in a singe-parent family by the time they are 18. After learning that half of marriages end after having children, it's no wonder some couples remain "child free." Almost all parents in the studies done in this article say they joyful parts outweigh the difficult ones. Being a mother I have to agree, even though sometimes it's tough and exhausting, I couldn't imagine my life without my children. In my relationship, I can relate to the statement of, "Both partners have to make major adjustments of time and energy as individuals at a time when they are getting less sleep and fewer opportunities to be together." That is something both of us struggle with as I think most parents do. Also, I find myself having less patience with things that didn't seem annoying before. We both tend to focus our frustration on each other. A lot of it boils down to " time becomes their most precious commodity." This particular line stood out to me because spontaneity no longer exists like it did when you were a twosome and makes it difficult to keep your intimate relationship alive. For couple's who thought that having a baby was going to bring them closer together, this is especially confusing and disappointing. Studies of emotional distress in new parents suggest that women and possibly men are more vulnerable to depression in the early months after having a child. Important things new parents or expectant couples can do to reduce the strain and enjoy becoming a family are: Share expectations, Give your self regular "check ups", Make time to talk to each other, Negotiate an agenda, Adopt an experimental attitude, Don't ignore sex and intimacy, Talk with a friend or co-worker, and finally, find the delicate balance. On the positive side, becoming a family provides a challenge that for some men and women leads to growth as individuals, as couples, and as parents. For couples who work to maintain or improve the quality of their marriage, having a baby can lead to a revitalized relationship.